I’ve been on my antidepressant Lexapro for about 5 years now, but that wasn’t the beginning of my depression or anxiety…
I started feeling probably slightly depressed from around 12 years old. I actually remember just crying a lot for no reason! Maybe it was the hormones changing inside my body, or maybe it was that everything felt so overwhelming. I felt like that my life was so unfair, and that I just wanted to live in a “normal” family!
I then progressed to self mutilation by about 14 years old, and would do it out mainly out of anger. But then i would get anxiety of wondering how the heck am I going to cover this up for school?! I continued on and off like this till about 16 which was when i met my now husband. He was actually the first caring boy i actually met that didn’t only care and think about one thing, that most teenage boys do!
He introduced me to God and how Jesus will forgive all sins. This felt amazing to me, the broken child that felt like she was just barely treading water! I then gave my whole life to God, and I felt so amazingly happy that i found someone that could lean on no matter what!
When I got my first full time job at around 18 i started getting slight anxiety attacks. I would be walking to work then all of a sudden I would feel like my heart was going to explode out of my chest, or I was going to have a heart attack right then and there! I would get the sweaty palms, heart racing and light headed feeling and knew “great another anxiety attack is about to take place”. I hated myself, why after putting everything into God’s hands he would let my body do this to me!
Well I struggled through it each day at a time….Got married to my teenage heart throb, moved out of home and then fell pregnant with our first child (obviously not that fast)!
Once I fell pregnant the anxiety started to not be as bad as I was focusing all my energy onto this amazing blessing that I always wanted! It was probably the most exciting time of my life, experiencing pregnancy for the first time. I started tracking each week what was happening with my little jelly bean. What part was growing, when was “it’s” heart going to start beating…It was amazing! So for a while I had a break from the dark cloud that was always hanging around, but it soon reared its ugly head again…
Our little Amy-lee
When Amy-lee was around 8 months old I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and was prescribed 10mg of Lexapro. It took 6 weeks for the medication to work fully, but when It did I felt amazingly better!
Now fast forward 5 or so years, and I’m finally ready to take the plunge to cut down and then hopefully come off the medication fully. I am in a much better place right now…not only in my relationship with God and my husband but also with my children. I have grown ALOT in the last 5 years, and finally feel like I am my own person and that I believe in MYSELF!
In the past two days I have cut down my medication by half which will continue for a month or two. (Now this was prescribed by my doctor, please don’t ever cut down or stop taking your medication unless told by YOUR doctor)! I have already had slight withdrawal feelings of headaches and slight muscle aches. But I have diligently been applying my Stress Ease essential oil to my wrists, and my lovely husband massaged my calves with coconut oil and Lavender oil to ease the muscle aches.
I have a bit of a way to go, but I’m very very very excited to give it my best shot! I am so glad I know so much more about healthy eating and essential oils now, as I know I could never do it without either of those two things!
I will keep you updated with how everything goes, and the things I find that is helping my progress.